Thursday, August 29, 2013

wherein I talk about the hard times.

This week was and continues to be hard.

Ella has taken a big step and started preschool at the Jenkins School.

Sophie is trying hard to understand why she is suddenly alone a whole lot more.

Luke has started classes full time.

and Lucy, oh Lucy.

She went through the worst growth spurt that I have every experienced.

We're talking the stuff horror stories are made of.

Eating every hour for 20 minutes, crying incessantly when not eating. On Wednesday she didn't even close her eyes from 5:30 am-3:30 pm.

It was hard on this mama.

But as hard as it was for me, it must have been harder for her! In pain, not knowing why she feels the way she feels. throat likely sore from all the screaming.

Friends, it was awful.

Today we seem to finally have come through, and she is sleeping like crazy which is a welcome break for me who has been alone with her pretty much this whole week.

But then yesterday happened.

Around 3 pm, all of the sudden I was in excruciating pain. I had the chills. I had a pounding headache. I had the worst aching I may ever have had.


I'm pretty predisposed to it, and have had it multiple times with each kid, but we're 7 weeks out. I thought *maybe* I had escaped it this time, but no such luck.

By 9 last night my fever spiked to 102.6, and I was miserable.

I couldn't fall asleep until 4 am, and by then my fever had broken twice.

After a couple of hours of sleep it was better. Still pain, chills, aching. But a bit more manageable.

Thankfully I have an awesome husband who let me sleep for a few extra minutes, and a babysitter who will take the kids anytime I drop them off.

I ended up going to express care and picking up some antibiotics, hoping it kicks in quickly.

But here's the thing...Sometimes life is hard.

Sometimes things happen at unexpected and not convenient times (although mastitis is never convenient)

Lots of changes, lots of emotions and tears and adjustments...but we made it through.

Because times are hard and stressful but we can all do hard things

Sometimes that involves hunkering down and feeding a baby for hours upon hours.
Sometimes that involves holding a sobbing Phie as she "princess waves" her big sister away for the first time saying through sobs, "But I love Ella."

But these times pass and really in the grand scheme these times are not a majority. They pass. 

Because of Lucy being the last I constantly repeat in my head that I shouldn't wish these days away, and to enjoy it when she won't let me put her down because eventually she won't want me to snuggle her.

But weeks like this I couldn't do that. 
Weeks like this I dreamed of all of the kids being asleep by 8, and sleeping all the way through until 6.
I dreamed of times where the tv would entertain them for 15 minutes so I could throw a load of laundry in (something I haven't been able to do in 2 weeks).

But those days will come.
And even if I don't enjoy all of the moments we have right now, 

I hold onto the fact that there will always be hard times, but they too will pass.

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