reset.

I've been thinking a lot lately about resetting.

The holidays came and went. The race and vacation came and went. Now classes start next week, and a hard, tough semester of classes, internship matching, paper writing, planning for next year, running another race, leading chapel and you know, continuing to raise a one year old and a two year old all stand in front of me.

and I'm tired.

I feel a little out of control.

and there hasn't been THAT much time to breathe during my winter "break."

Often you hear about mamas who don't take time for themselves. They put all that they have into their families and lose themselves and who they are in the process. I try not to do this. While I do put everything I can into my beautiful little family, it is important to me that I not lose my sense of self (and I am constantly reminded of not losing my self in my home or career as we often talk about self care in my classes).
I take time to knit while watching tv after the littles go to bed because it calms me.
I take time to bake homemade bread because I like how it turns out and not eating the processed crap that the market carries.
I take time to run a couple of miles in the morning before the kids get up because it centers me.
I ran a half marathon 2 weeks ago because it was something I have always wanted to do even if it meant giving the kids to luke on saturday mornings for 4 months so I could pound out the miles.

I do things for me. I do things so I don't lose myself.

But there are little things I feel like I can add to reset. To breathe. To recharge my batteries and start new habits that will only help me feel like me even on those days where the little monsters are driving me crazy.

It starts with a three day detox. Planned for next week, starting monday. I may be a little hungry, but all of the fruits and vegetables planned are good for me and will reset my body after the holiday season full of heavy food.

Other little things are planned to help. washing my face before my head hits the pillow. Making sure to run at least three time per week (even though my bed is so warm and the snow is sooo cold). Stocking up my etsy shop again. (even though I don't have much success, it satisfies the entrepreneurial gene I have acquired from my dad). Planning a slightly over the top first birthday party for Phie. Painting my finger and toe nails to feel more girly. Wearing lipstick every once in a while. trying to put together new outfit combinations and start wearing earrings and necklaces again now that Soph is a little older and less likely to grab and pull.

As I think about this list, it is all things I used to do. Things before kids. Things that make me happy, and are just little things that don't even take more time out of my already too busy day.

It is just stuff I have to think about.
I have to plan.
I have to do.

So here is to not losing myself.
here is to finding myself again.
Here is to resetting.