Saturday, January 21, 2012

In one year.

I never thought I would be where I am one year ago.

I have two absolutely beautiful daughters who make me laugh, make me cry and give me strength on a regular basis.

One year ago I was in the midst of the newborn haze. I was emotional and ecstatic, exhausted and scared. We now had two kids.

How would I ever be able to take care of both of them while Luke was at work? Would I ever be able to leave the house alone? Or alone with them? Why is breastfeeding so hard? When will she stop screaming? Does Ella get enough attention?

So much in one year.

we moved. we lived in a one room cabin. we played in the woods. we celebrated a fourth anniversary at the place it happened. we celebrated a second birthday. We spent a couple weeks at the beach. we ran a freaking half marathon!

we lived.

we changed.

we loved.

Two weeks before Christmas I did what, to me, seemed like the epitome of knowing that I would be ok at this parenting thing. I took both girls, by myself, to walmart. The place where all shopping trips seem to be awful, there is a lot of noise. a lot of people. a lot of toys to throw us off track.
But we spent 30 minutes in the big box, and came out not fighting each other. There were some tears, there were some temper tantrums, but we did it. Got what we needed and I made it out with two relatively happy girls.

This, to me, was a huge accomplishment. It proved that two is not too much. it is totally possible.

This has been floating around the internet lately, and I've seen tons of posts in blogland about it. For me it is total truth. It is exactly what I think about often, and it is beautifully written. I have those Kairos moments a lot, and I am ever grateful that I can say that.

It has only been one year, there have definitely been hard moments. hard days.
who am I kidding, hard weeks.

But the kairos moments have gotten us through, and made me so excited for what is coming next.

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