one of those days.

Today I was having one of those days.

One of those days that I like to think all new moms have in their first couple of months with a new life

The kind of days where it is just too much. Too much love, too much exhaustion, too much life.

The kind of days where I hate breastfeeding, I just want her to be ok if I put her down for 1 minute so I can wash the drool/spit combo that is on my pant leg (the same pants I have been wearing for two days by the way). The kind of day that is overwhelming and the kind of day that no one really gets to ready for because no one talks about those days.

that was my day this morning.

There was a lot of rushing around all morning, juggling the fussy baby/toddler combo as I was trying to get stuff ready to take Ella to her 18 month check up.

18 months? yeah, and she just turned 19 months last week.

19 months?? Already?? Weren't we just turning around her car seat and driving to her first birthday party? Wasn't that just yesterday?

It was my first time alone with my big-little since a couple of days before littlest was born.

over 9 weeks now.

and man, did I miss her.

"wak, wak mum" was all she said.

She just wanted to walk. 

The one time I could carry her without worrying about the car seat filled with a tiny human in the other hand and all she wanted was to "wak"

and so she did. Everywhere we went this morning she wak-ed.

my big-little.

I've been feeling nostalgic lately for her first months of life.

Such a happy/scary time. 

all of the firsts. Smiles, sitting up, crawling, cereal...

They always say it goes so quickly.

and guess what?

it does.

This picture was taken the afternoon that she got her 2 month shots.

today she got her 18 month shots.

There was still the screaming, but as she clung to me in her koala-like way she does at the doctor, I couldn't help but get a little choked up at how far we've come.

my little Ella Monster.